A Chinaman of Average Intelligence

This blog is no more

2007-10-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

You can find me here now:

http://thomaswriteswords.typepad.com/blankspace/

http://thomaswriteswords.typepad.com/i_saved_latin/

http://thomaswriteswords.typepad.com/the_sunday_best/

Blogs are dead - long live blogs!

2007-05-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

I really want to maintain a "web-presence" but I have to be honest - without a need to distract myself in classes I've pretty much lost all desire to spend hours and hours online. Or at least hours spent writing about YouTube videos. (Speaking of which, have you seen this cute with Chris guy? Amazing.)

I'm still writing for The Tyee though, and my latest is apparently my greatest, as all two of my fans have attested.

1993: The Year Rap Died

And here finally is my picture with Win Butler, lead singer of Arcade Fire:

Maybe moving to the States isn't such a good idea

2007-04-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

At least 33 killed in Virginia Tech shooting. (NY Times)

Unicorns - A Digital Short

2007-04-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

Some good information about the Sasquatch too if you watch to the end.

Recent Pics

2007-04-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Paloozahead

2007-04-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

Laughter - A Digital Short

2007-04-09T13:14:00.000-07:00

Probably as gross (in that PDA kind of way) as SNL's are hysterically funny. Three years of law school and I still can't write a memo, but I can make no-budget videos of my friends.

(Yes, the title music is a typewriter. Welcome to the 21st Century.)

From God of War to BMW

2007-04-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

Entertaining flash-based game for BMW (from Josh Spears).

Pursuit Across Europe

Gmail is rich, beeyatch.

2007-03-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

Sm. suggests emailing all your photographs to yourself and getting gmail to print them and mail them to you...for free.

Gmail Paper

Get up with the get down

2007-03-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

While shopping in Value Village for vintage YSL ties, I came across this keyboard - perfect since Sm. had recently said she wanted one.

It is, as they say, le awesome:

The Casio Rapman. With 32 authentic tones, and a large surface scratch pad, this is THE keyboard for aspiring Ludacrii.

Because she has so many other options...

2007-03-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Seems Hermione is tired of being Hermione. Forgive my impertinence, but I've always thought her the weakest of the three. (via kottke)

Kindly ask me no more questions

2007-03-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

Bank People

2007-03-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

The library is great - not for research (well, maybe for that), but to get Season 3 of The Kids in the Hall on DVD. This may or may not be part of Season 3, but it's definitely one of my favourites.

"I'll eat pancakes on your grave."

I love all people

2007-03-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

From Bill Simmons recent running diary of the Houston/Boston basketball game:

9:42 -- Coming out of commercial, we see a replay of Yao's finger getting bent back on a rebound and Yao screaming in pain, followed by Gorman reporting that Yao went to the locker room to get it checked out, then Tommy joking, "That was his chopstick finger, too, he may not be able to eat anymore!" and Gorman changing the subject as fast as humanly possible. (The lesson, as always: It's never dull when anyone older than 70 is allowed near a microphone during a sporting event.)

I can't wait for the "hey, he DOES use chopsticks, doesn't he?" responses.

Don't download this song (RIAA disclaimer)

2007-03-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

Books - The Acorn

100 years...has anything changed?

2007-03-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

2007 marks the 100th anniversary of the Vancouver race riots in Chinatown and something called Japtown. During the riots a white supremacist group marched to city hall to demand a "white Canada." 2007 also marks the 60th anniversary of the repeal of the Chinese Immigration Act, a wonderfully misnamed piece of legislation that eliminated all Chinese immigration to Canada.

The face of Vancouver has certainly changed since then, and it is possible to live in parts of Richmond and never have to speak a word of English. (Possible for some - impossible for me as I do not speak Chinese).

I use this information to provide context for something I came across recently on the Angry Asian Man blog, something so astounding I actually wrote to the authors of the work to ask, "What gives?"

The following is an excerpt, now removed, from a book called Skits That Teach, published by Zondervan, and written by The Skit Guys, Eddie James and Tommy Woodward. The book is meant as a teaching tool for Christian youth leaders.

"Herro, Dis is Wok's Up Restaurant calling to confirm your order. . . . I think that, yes, you total is 14 dollar 95 cent."

"Herro? This is Wok's Up Restaurant again. We have drive and drive, and we can't find you house. We don't find you house soon, you pu pu get cold. Pu pu good when it hot."

(Hostile) "Okay, we drive for long time looking for you house. I tell you, you go outside and I look for you. I am driving a red Rincon (Lincoln) Continental. You pu pu still getting cold. Bye!"

"Okay, I drive for long time and I stil not find you house. So I am eating you pu pu! Ruckiry it still warm. I was hungry, so I eat it. Mmmmm . . . this pu pu is good. (Smacks lips a few times) You on my bad rist. You don't call us anymore. Bye!"

As you can imagine, this caused quit a stir in the sizable Asian Christian community, prompting this apology from The Skit Guys. Mark Oestreicher. who works for Youth Specialties, the company that is responsible for the publication, offered this apology on his blog. All of this prompted me to write this letter to Mark, which I forwarded to Eddie and Tommy.

Hello.

My name is Thomas Wong and I am a Chinese Scottish Canadian living in Vancouver. I was a regular church goer for over 20 years. I am currently in law school and am graduating this year.

I came across the excerpt from James and Woodward's book, Skits that Teach, on the Angry Asian Man site at http://www.angryasianman.com/angry.html. It's a good read for people who, for whatever reason, seem to struggle with the idea that racial stereotypes are offensive.

Mark, I am a reasonable man, and I read your apology with great interest. I believe you are sincerely trying to do good work, and that you were mortified by the content of the book. I also believe that James and Woodward are genuinely apologetic.

Having said that, there is one point that I feel is being lost, or at the very least misunderstood. I will reproduce the excerpt here for reference.

(See excerpt above.)

Without being Asian yourself, I am sure you can see how this is repugnant, foul, and abusive banality. It is, quite simply, inexcusable. I do not mean that it is beyond forgiveness. I mean that content such as this has no possible excuse. It is wrong in every sense of that word.

The part that I feel is being glossed over is the idea that James and Woodward did not mean to be offensive. You state this in your post, and they mention this in their apology. I suppose this is meant to indicate that they were not deliberately setting out to abuse anyone, which is undeniably a good thing. However, the fact that they did not intend that effect does not make this somehow less abusive. In fact, to me it makes it far more abusive, since it indicates that they wrote the skit, believing it to be humourous, completely oblivious to the possibility that an entire ethnic group, a stunning one third of the earth's population, might find it horribly offensive.

In other words, they were CASUALLY horribly racist. They wrote it the way a young child might write a swear word in a letter to Grandma, not knowing what it means. They wrote it thinking they were being funny - and that was it.

This utterly baffles me. It makes me wonder just how insular the church is these days, as it attempts to justify and stake out increasingly untenable positions. My own personal views on the church are not my main point. Intended or not, this hurt me. It made me angry.

It is the 100th anniversary of a race riot in Vancouver that almost burned down Chinatown. It is also the anniversary of the passing of legislation that forbid Chinese immigration to Canada. Racism is not a laughing matter. I would expect, nay demand, that followers of someone as enlightened as Jesus would know this inherently. I don't think the writers need to "consult" with Asian church leaders. I think they need to consult the Gospels.

Sincerely,

Thomas Wong

As of this posting only Eddie James has written back, with what I believe is a genuine apology. However, I feel that the fact that the book is still being sold, albeit in an altered form, indicates that this is being handled from a financial perspective. A true apology would rip this book from the shelves and demand their return from bookstores.

My favourite part about all of this? That the racism is being called a "sin," and that this is evidence that we are all susceptible to "sinful ways." Racism isn't a sin. It's at best stupid and offensive, and at worst an excuse for genocide.

These United States

2007-03-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

How many States can you name in 10 minutes? I managed 38, and when the 12 I missed came up there were no surprises. I simply couldn't remember them.

50 States in 10 Minutes

(The clock starts immediately).

Well...shoot

2007-02-27T15:04:00.000-08:00

Oh man, people are going to be pissed

2007-02-27T14:10:00.000-08:00

James Camerson discovers the coffins of Jesus Christ and his family.

Every time I see a story like this, I always wonder - why does no one think that people before a certain time would play a practical joke? That is to say, why is it that things found hundreds of years ago are never thought to be the work of historical jackasses? "Hey, let's write famous people's names on this stuff and hundreds of years from now people will be TOTALLY fooled."

No? No. No?

King of the world indeed.

Chinese, Japanese, Korean...whatever

2007-02-26T09:54:00.000-08:00

This, from Warren Ellis' morning update:

* Martin Scorcese got his "fuck me,
are you still here?" Oscar for
remaking a Korean crime flick. Since
he's had a hard-on for Oscar for
some thirty years, I suppose it's
nice for him. But it still seems a bit
sad to me.

To his credit, he wrote back a minute after my email to say he was thinking about another movie.

Live blogging the Oscars

2007-02-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

5:00 - 6:58

Miss almost the entire show. Tune in intermittently to catch Will Smith's son being adorable, Jack Black, Will Ferrell and someone I forget being predictable, and Ellen Degeneres looking really tired. Decide to watch Iron Chef America instead.

6:58

The Departed wins for Best Adapted Screenplay, based on the JAPANESE film Infernal Affairs. Apparently, all us Asians really do look the same.

7:05

Tom Cruise arrives on stage - crowd holds its breath, waiting for him to go insane or for an alien to pop out of his chest.

7:23

Ken Watanabe is the coolest man ever, but he cannot speak English very well. He is also the go-to Japanese actor for the next decade at least.

THE ENTIRE SHOW

Ellen Degeneres...is not funny.

7:47

Best Documentary goes to...An Inconvenient Truth. Biggest shock of the night. Is global warming a big deal right now?

Jesus Camp was robbed, but really - is a movie that reveals the insanity of the Evangelical movement going to win?

The self-righteousness of the Oscars and Hollywood is rivaled only by the self-righteousness of the Grammys. By what criteria, either subjective or objective, can it be said that the Dixie Chicks released the best album in America last year? And I guess all these people didn't arrive at the ceremony in stretch SUVs.

8:14

A high Kirsten Dunst and a homeless Tobey Maguire present Michael Arndt with the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

8:24

Beyonce...stop. Falling. Over.

8:30

Alright, that's enough. Hollywood - you are not saving the planet. And giving Melissa Etheridge the Oscar for her song about recycling isn't going to meet Kyoto requirements.

8:37

They start some sort of film about...how great America is. Yay.

8:41

Kate Winslet. Sharon says, "Her dress is really nice."

8:42

A grandmother wins for editing The Departed. Anyone who watched Children of Men knows this is ridiculous.

8:45

I swear Jody Foster has an Adam's apple.

8:49

Bruno Kirby died? Genuinely upset about that.

9:04

Forest Whitaker wins for best actor. I have nothing to add - the dude is sweet.

9:07

Best Director goes to...Martin Scorcese, in this year's Let's Give Him The Oscar He Should Have Won For Those Better Movies award.

Even Martin knows he shouldn't have won for this.

Way to go, Oscars.

On the other hand, he does correct the earlier gaff over Infernal Affairs. And then calls Michael Lau, Michael LAW. Aiyah.

9:13

Diane Keaton is abandoned by Jack Nicholson and has to announce the films by herself. Why is she so...loud?

And the Best Picture is...The Departed, replacing An Inconvenient Truth as the least surprising win of the evening.

Way to go Oscars...twice.

French people are having more fun than us

2007-02-21T11:19:00.001-08:00

Woohoo and all that jazz

2007-02-21T01:54:00.000-08:00

If you listen to the radio you know that men get women diamonds for Valentine's Day, since diamonds are bright and hard and shiny and your love is bright and hard and shiny. So says Doug Spence. (Actually he yells it.) Doug is, of course, functionally retarded.

Men, if we're lucky, sometimes get alcohol or tickets to a game or something made out of metal. But if you're really lucky you first get tickets to the best Scottish Band in the World not named after a dead Austrian archduke:

And then, if you're really, really lucky, I mean - if you're the luckiest man in the world, you'll get this:

But then you'd be me, which you're not. I'm sorry.

If you don't know who that little guy is, you need to read more Able + Baker.

Here's to Christians making pagan festivals into commercial endeavours

2007-02-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

From Indexed, a blog by Jessica Hagy.

When 2 become....1

2007-02-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

Ah the spice girls. What better way to celebrate the marriage of my best friend Jaeho Yoo to Nadia Baker.

Some crazy flu wasn't going to stop me! Congratulations the two of you.

The rest of the images are here.

At bat

2007-01-30T23:45:00.000-08:00

Best intro music hands down: Macho Man Randy Savage's "Pomp and Circumstance." When he came into the ring with that crazy music playing, you knew awesomeness was going to follow. You knew he was going to talk like he was passing a kidney stone. You knew at some point he was going to raise his glasses and give his opponent the serial killer look of impending doom. You knew that anyone who chose "Pomp and Circumstance" as his intro music must have a little extra going on upstairs.

I'm no athlete--ask anyone on the Circus hockey team--but if I was I'd have to choose baseball as my sport. Why? Because it allows you to have an intro song. Now I think only relief pitchers get to have one...or possibly I'm making the whole thing up. But since I'm pretending to be a professional baseball player, who cares?

So here's the scenario: bottom of the 9th, the visiting team up by a run, tying run on second with two outs. Next up to bat: Thomas "Boomstick" Wong, wearing number 44. The crowd starts to go nuts. As I walk towards homeplate you can hear the start of a persistent chant, "Boomstick, boomstick, boomstick..."

And then, over the PA:

AC/DC - Thunderstruck

The crowd goes nuts. As I step into the batter's box, I raise my bat and point it at the crowd, holding it like a tommy gun. Everyone in the first ten rows goes down like they've been shot. The pitcher winds up, delivers. I don't even get into my stance. Strike one. Next pitch is right down the middle again. Strike two. Now I look at the pitcher. I give him the Andy Petitte glare. He steps off the bag, trying to shake it off, but now I'm in his head. When he delivers the next pitch the runner on second is already trotting to third. He knows what time it is - Boomstick time.

So metaphysical it hurts my brain

2007-01-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

According to various internet sources, one of Google's top search terms--usually in the top ten--is "Google." In other words, people are using Google to search for itself.

Now I often use the Google toolbar when I don't want to type in a url, especially a lengthy one. It's actually just slightly easier to type in the word and click the link. But using Google to look for Google is like riding a bike to the gym so you can ride a stationary. At best, somewhat bizarre. At worst - pathologically inane.

Where's the beef?

2007-01-16T12:17:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd try a different font to shake things up. Ooooh - look at this crazy font change!

With the Guile debate only a few days away I've hit a bit of a snag - namely, I don't feel funny at all. The timing is, shall we say, a bit craptastic.

That's really all I have to say. I'm giving myself another 12 hours and then I'm just ripping things off from Chappelle.

No One Wins

2007-01-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

Now that all but one of my marks has come out, I can declare that no one has won the guess my admin mark challenge. Unfortunately for me, everyone guessed too high. Yes - even Voska Dour.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas all. Remember, the Pope wants your children! Better play nice with the old man.
Pope Appeals For World's Children

Now, when he says we should direct "our gaze toward all children who suffer and are abused in the world," he realizes how ridiculous that sounds coming from the head of the Catholic Church, right? I mean - HE KNOWS THAT, RIGHT?

He knows what's been going on...doesn't he?

Ah, I'm being cynical. Joy to all - peace on earth. And remember - you can take it back even without a receipt.

And this is definitely why Justin Timberlake is miles ahead of his other Mousketeers:

Lauryn Hill

2006-12-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

Before Lauryn Hill made an appearance on Dave Chappelle's Block Party it seemed most people had forgotten all about her. But then she showed up on stage with Wyclef and that other guy (just kidding...Pras right? His name is Pras or something) and absolutely destroyed Killing Me Softly, misremembered lyrics aside. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill remains one of my favourite albums of all time, and is easily one of if not the best debut album EVAH - even considering that it remains really her only album.

How can you not love a video where a giant hand scratches the island of Manhattan?

And this is just ridiculous. Does anyone performing today even approach her?

Lauryn left and we got...Cassie. Keisha Chante. Fergie.

Come back Lauryn.

Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)

Lauryn Hill - Every Ghetto, Every City

Lauryn Hill - Everything is Everything

Cornelius - Fit Song

2006-12-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

Amazing video, thoroughly annoying song.

What I want for Christmas

2006-12-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

What you are looking at is a screenshot from Left Behind: Eternal Forces, in which you, a Christian soldier, must convert all the remaining non-believers...or you get to shoot them. No, you did not read that wrong. You either convert the heathens or blow them away. If you look closely you'll see a dead Muslim in the middle of the screenshot, and a party of understandably scared Jews huddled near the top.

But don't think it's just a free-for-all Christian killing spree! Every time you unleash God's wrath through your ArmaLite AR-50 you lose "spirit points," presumably because you're a homicidal maniac. Don't fret though - you can get those spirit points back by praying, just like in real life!
If you get too close to the rock musician, he will drain your spirit points by his mere presence. Just like in real life!

However, you do get the special power of swearing.

Eternal Forces dot com

3/5 done is fun

2006-12-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

The guesses are in, and guessing will be open to anyone who wants to until marks are posted later in January. To date they are in ascending order:

Voska - 69

Mike B. - 70

Ryan - 71

Dave - 72

Katie - 74

Sharon - 75

Taeghan - 76

Fraser - 77

Rod - 79

I think I can safely say my mark won't be in the 50's...or in the 80's. So everyone still has a chance to win!

Admin mark update

2006-12-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

I completely forgot that the exam is worth 80% of my mark. This means I have a pretty solid shot at not getting 55%. Sorry all you low bidders.

Speaking of bidding, I've just won this pair of shoes on eBay. Yes, that's how I ensure an Admin mark not above 70.

New Blogger Development

2006-12-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

So there's a new Blogger beta and it allows you to add labels to your posts - basically tags that then group all those posts together so someone interested in, say, downloading mp3s can find all the ones I've posted on the site. I might go back through the posts and label them all...or I might accept how unnecessary that probably is.

Try it - it's fun.

mp3

Admin Update

2006-12-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

I just looked at last year's Admin exam and it literally took my breath away. IT REACHED INTO MY LUNGS AND REMOVED THE AIR.

So true

2006-12-09T23:19:00.000-08:00

Guess my admin score - win a prize

2006-12-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

Since this year should prove to be my worst academic year ever, I thought I'd offer everyone a chance to profit off my test taking abilities - or lack thereof.

If you can correctly guess my Admin score you will win a prize - more than likely a bottle or two of something like this:

So far we have, in order from highest to lowest:

Fraser - 77
Sharon - 75
Ryan - 71
Mike - 70

A few factors to help you make a decision:

My marks in law school have ranged from 64-81.

I don't feel confident about it.

My preparation has been...nominal.

Good luck to everyone who guesses. Any guess below 55 or above 80 will be disqualified as outside the realm of probability.

Wayback Wednesday - Exam Edition

2006-12-06T15:28:00.000-08:00

With my first exam in the first of four courses I know nothing about looming tomorrow, I thought I'd take a break from reading other people's CANs (thank you, generous law-folk) to post some music from the NOT SO DISTANT PAST that is near and dear to my heart.

The year is 1992. I won't post a picture of what I looked like, but let's just say it involved tight rolling my jeans.

ANYWAY - at the time I was playing this guessing game with a friend over what would be the next big hit single and I guessed this acappella version of Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love Again," a song so ridiculously over the top in its sentiment (if man hooks up with woman again, woman will be a friend of his first), it makes Celine Dion look subtle.

Yet I love the song like an illegitimate child. Wait - like an illegitimate child who becomes an NBA star. Yeah. Like that.

Shai - If I Ever Fall In Love Again

Three years earlier the Fine Young Cannibals released this song. To this day I can't listen to it without remembering a certain grade eight Hallowe'en party where everyone thought I was Charlie Chaplin (I was the guy from A Clockwork Orange).

Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy

Flight of the Conchords...studying grinds to a halt

2006-12-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

I have to thank my good, Polish giant of a friend, Voska Dour, for introducing me to Flight of the Conchords, New Zealand's fourth best folk comedy duo. While Albi the Racist Dragon seems to be their best known work, I'm more inclined towards Think...Think About It, a Marvin Gaye-esque social commentary on the problems facing the world's children, both real and imaginary, today.

"A man is lying on the street some punk has chopped off his head."

Guile Tryout - The Video

2006-11-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

Matt's will be added soon...

Microsoft = ???

2006-11-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

Recently Microsoft launched the Zune, a multimedia player that, depending on your allegiances, is either an iPod killer this Christmas or another failed attempt to dethrone Apple's best-selling device.

I don't really care either way. I have an iBook so I'm partial to the iPod; they have the added benefit of looking much better. What is interesting to me is the different advertising that each device has generated. iPod has the much-copied and satirized dancing silhouettes. Microsoft has what appears to be a penis on legs and a really disturbing eye creature, courtesy of Tokyoplastic.

Visit their site to see video of the two together. But not before you eat.

You can watch all the Zune ads here.

Why I want to be Radiohead

2006-11-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

Owl Project

2006-11-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

Amazing.

"Which was probably, Aaaahhhhhh!!!"

2006-11-19T18:30:00.000-08:00

On Friday Ryan and I tripped the boards once again, this time in order to secure a place in the Guile Final - which we did with considerable aplomb, if I do say so myself. Check his blog for a better description of the event.

Here are some photos - video to follow soon.

Small, but rabid, fan base.

Well well well

2006-11-17T02:39:00.000-08:00

So it's exam time, which means nothing better to do than try out websites I found on friends' blogs.

Interesting...

VEEERRRRRRYYYYY interesting.

Now we're getting silly.

I want this from Threadless

2006-11-07T00:03:00.000-08:00

The hoody. The white hoody.

Welcome to Vancouver

2006-11-04T03:57:00.000-08:00

Dance! Dance! Dance!

2006-11-02T14:22:00.000-08:00

The best song played at the Hallowe'en party was far and away Sweet Caroline, which revealed its brilliance to me during the Natalie Portman lovefest that is Beautiful Girls. Hearing it surrounded by non-stop RnB and hiphop, musical styles of which I am not unfond, made me long for a club where they played something other than American Top-40 and Nelly Furtado.

I'll probably have to move to New York for that, so in the meantime here's a playlist of songs I'd like to hear in a club at some point before I'm too old to be in a club (so basically by tomorrow). Quite apart from all being kick ass songs, they're great Jesus-what-is-that-girl-doing-on-the-dancefloor tunes.

Gimme an Irregular Rhythm Playlist

1. Rinocerose - Cubicle

I came across this song in April, but a posting about the equally great video reminded me how much I like it. There needs to be a club in Vancouver where ladies will wear leather jackets and lose their minds to this.

2. Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
Clearly this needs to be in the VAG, onyl the VAG when most of Vancouver isn't there. Oh, and it's been transported to Glasgow.

3. The Vines - Get Free

It's hard not to listen to this and wonder why we need a Nirvana cover band, but lead singer retardedness aside this song fulfills all the requirements of a good dancefloor rock song: good riff, good beat, and a chorus like verse that you can yell.

4. Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights

One of my favourite songs OF ALL TIME and made even better by making white suits seem so damn cool.

5. The Strokes - Last Nite

I tried to like this band but I don't. Much like The Vines and the Hives, I like its biggest song and then lose interest. But if you had this in the fivespot no way someone walks Romantic Rights. Mad dangerous.

6. The Hives - Hate To Say I Told You So

White shoes. Skinny ties. Guy with 'stache. Ladies go nuts. Don't tell me this wouldn't blow a club up.

7. Hot Chip - Over and Over

I've posted this before but this definitely rounds out the evening. What you need is five girls who all know the song and who've come up with their own hand dance for it. Yeah, I said NEED.

The Devil May Care

2006-10-29T17:48:00.000-08:00

Two nights ago hundreds of sweaty, drunk law students piled into a hall and proceeded to mess things up. And the floor. And the area at the back where they kept the booze. Oh, the booze. Let's just say things still hurt today, and that's after I slept for 12 hours. Lessons learned. Once again Flickr can say it better than my words. (Click for the larger image - you really need to see the bigger version of the first, courtesy of Ryan.)

I don't think I can properly explain how much I love this photo.

So good

2006-10-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

I forgot how brilliant this guy is

2006-10-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Hallowe'en!

2006-10-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Respect Copyright Activities Patch

2006-10-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

I love it when reality totally overshadows any kind of fantasy which you or I or Warren freakin' Ellis could think up.

Remember boy scouts? I do. The fire starting. The are-you-a-pedophile leaders. The way everyone was named after characters from the jungle book. And the patches. Oh, the patches.

If you were to join the boy scouts now, there's an exciting new patch you can earn. The Respect Copyrights Activity Patch.

Isn't that what every boy dreams about? Getting into nature, catching some wild bootleg DVDs and promptly turning them in to the proper authorities. Man, that just gets the blood boiling.

As seen on BrooklynVegan.

Oh Canada

2006-10-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

This is a rock concert...not splish splash

2006-10-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

There was a time in the 80's when the men looked like women and the women looked like Debbie Gibson. Those days are thankfully, or depending on your tastes unfortunately, over, but the music lives on...at least on this blog.

Poison - Unskinny Bop

Why are these dudes wearing so much make-up? I'll tell you why - because they have balls the size of bocce balls, that's why. These guys are so hetero they can look like slightly toasted hookers and still pull every chick in the crowd.

Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me

Apparently this song is about ___________. Oh man, is it ever.

Metallica - Enter Sandman

Lollapalooza. That might be spelled wrong. Guitarist from Hole, can't be bothered to Google name, launches into this guitar riff. Made me forget about the guy trying to crush my larynx.

Run D.M.C. & Aerosmith - Walk This Way

One of the best songs ever? Yes.

If you have an Atari 2600

2006-10-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

You need this:

Get down with the gobble gobble

2006-10-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

*Blog title by freestyling Voska Dour

Ah, Turkey. Turkey, turkey, turkey. Turkey...two times? That's how I roll yo. And if I have to go to three Thanksgiving dinners, so be it.

This weekend saw the most eating I've done since the Back to Back Chinese Weddings of '02. And the most pumpkin based products since the days of costumes with built in feet. Thanks to my sister for hosting an awesome dinner (yam and pecans and brown sugar = bomb diggety); to the Mahs for letting us crash their family meal (yam and pecans and brown sugar=bomb diggety); and to Catherine for hosting an orphan meal for all us vagabond urchins (this was the first Thanksgiving in memory I haven't spent with my parents who abandoned us for the Middle Kingdom).

Voska Dour brought a delicious medley of beets which was enjoyed both with and without sour cream. My vote - leave the cream for the taters. If you are still in the Thanksgiving mood visit his blog for a song that is all about being thankful.

Here is the weekend in Flickr style. (I love Flickr, but why does the uploader insist on reversing the order?)

Thanksgiving and the Weekend Comes

2006-10-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's so turkey time. And stuffing time. And pumpkin pie time. This year the 'rents are in China (cradle of f$#king civilization!), so I'm off to the island to chow with my sister and her fiance, then back to have what is certain to be a memorable Thanksgiving with Charlie and the Voska Dour.

It's also the weekend, and here's a tune that's so old, the Black Eyed Peas didn't suck and they had a real singer working the hook.

Black Eyed Peas feat. Esthero - Weekend

Carnage, n. to consume alcoholic beverages until destroyed

2006-09-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Friday night was the boat cruise, and I discovered a few things about myself:

1. I can drink a lot more than I thought.

2. People stare at you when you're a drunken, sweaty, dancing mess. Stare and judge.

3. Speaking in a Polish accent BRINGS the party.

4. People should dance more.

I could write more, but I believe these pictures convey the evening better than paragraphs ever could.

Heartbreaking Realities of the Modern World

2006-09-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

1. You are not now, nor have you ever been, the Mack Daddy.

Come Together - Vodka steez

2006-09-19T23:05:00.000-07:00

Please be going to read Voska Dour for the seeing of video where me, that is TBW, and he, that is Voska Dour, break it down free-style Come Together sing song, all while being the filmed by Japanese girl.

Fairies play bad rock

2006-09-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Will over at New and Used Records has the most amazing post about the band Hinder...of whom I've never heard. Amazing because they call out current ACOAI favourites Ok Go.

Says singer Austin Winkler:

"I would definitely agree as far as NY and LA with some of that artsy bullshit like OK GO, bands like that. I think they’re a bunch of fairies. I mean, they got on MTV, the VMA awards and they got on there and danced like a broadway show. That’s not fucking rock 'n roll, that’s not rock 'n roll at all."

Read the rest of the post here.

This reminds me of the good ol' days when Matt Good called out Nickelback, except in that "feud" both bands were...well...pretty crap.

Voska Dour try kill me

2006-09-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight Voska Dour came to my newly clean-ish apartment with his friend Rie from Japan, bringing with him two bottles of Polish National Pride. One, Wodka Zoladkowa Gorzka, translates as "bitter stomach vodka." The video will indicate that the product is as advertised. The other bottle contains a genuine blade of buffalo grass and is called Zubrowka. Both left me feeling like someone had Roto-Rooted my colon. However, before that feeling set in we ate pizza and rocked out acoustic guitar styles to Summer of '69 and Good Riddance. And Rie filmed Voska Dour breaking out his own verses for Come Together - hope to have that video up soon.

For some reason the whole affair made me think of this song...which QMFM provided on the drive back from Charlie's with Wilson Phillip's Hold On right after it. Kismet.

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen

New York, please wait for me

2006-09-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

"Don't jump! You have so much to live for!" - the Suicide Mission

Okay. A while ago I had an idea for a Guerilla Youth Theatre Troupe who would stage impromptu plays and such in public spaces, really for no apparent reason. The idea went the way of most of my ideas, that is to say nowhere, and I quickly forgot about it. When I heard about flash mobs the idea was renewed, but by then I was quickly souring on education and young people in general (terrible whippersnappers all), so I forgot about it again.

Then today I came across Improv Everywhere, a group operating out of New York who stage mass...missions. Just reading about their slow-motion shakedown of the Home Depot brings a tear to mine eye. And who hasn't wanted to ride the Skytrain without any pants? Am I right people?

And I must agree with the voters on the site - the Moebius Strip mission is definitely the most awesome thing to happen in a Starbucks ever. I can't even read the rest of the missions; I get too geeked up and want to throw myself through a law school window.

YouTube I want your babies

2006-09-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

YouTube makes me so happy. I could go on and on about it, but I'll post this simple example. About five years ago I was really into a Japanese band called Zoobombs, who no one even in Japan had seemed to have heard about. And on a lark I typed Zoobombs into YouTube - and of course it has 16 videos. Bomb the Bomb was by far my favourite track, and the video is awesomely crappy.

Naturally they're also on MySpace.

This is the song that never ends

2006-09-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

When Hey Ya! blew up huge, you just knew radio was going to kill it. And kill it radio did, deader than Freddie Prinze Jr...he's not dead? Are you sure?

Then some British boys came along and did nothing very good themselves, but somehow managed to breathe life back into the song. Of course, the original is amazing despite the overkill, so it was probably not much of a task. This one goes out to Voska Dour who has been NEEDLING ME ENDLESSLY ABOUT POSTING IT.

Razorlight - Hey Ya!

And then the mushroom ate me

2006-09-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

By now you've probably seen enough "Video game music performed on a ________" to last a lifetime. Even so, I don't think you've lived until you've seen The Legend of Zelda performed on a ukulele.

And I'm sure you've all seen the Jake Shimabukuro video where he plays While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Here he is in on a Japanese show doing a Guess-That-Song music quiz and then playing the song with a guy with the ultimate guitar hair.

And since I can't get enough of the ukulele, here's Jake again playing his song Let's Dance. Please note the best guitar-player face ever - I think his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Always one step ahead of me

2006-09-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

3 New Mac Ad Ideas from the inimitable McSweeney's.

You listen and then you understand

2006-09-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

The always excellent New and Used Records has a recent podcast up with links to all of the songs. Links = mad happiness. And the first band, Asobi Seksu, is coming to Vancouver to play the Media Club.

He be returning

2006-09-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

And has brought pictures.

Mad blogger linkaaaahge

2006-09-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

If you wandered over here from here then you read about these boys and if you looked at the comments you heard the song. But if you didn't, here it is again. It's that good - it needs to be posted everywhere. Hand claps. Spangled boots. Tell me you're a keeper...pronounced "keepah." Hell tiresome paper dreams is pronounced "tysome papeh dreamnmnmns."

The Kooks - She Moves in Her Own Way

Wayback Wednesday and the Future

2006-09-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

"You're crazy like that glue/to think that you could outdo my one-two/that's sick like the flu."

What happened to you Craig Mack? In 1994 you were the first artist signed to Sean Comb's Bad Boy Entertainment; one year later you were nobody. For one summer you basically were hip hop, introducing the world to the Notorious B.I.G. Now you can't get credit on guest appearances. It's 2006 Craig Mack and no one knows who you are - but this song still makes me ridiculously happy.

Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear

"When I swing I'm far fetched like hicks from hicksville."

The future of hip hop will come from England. Mark my words - the British are coming for your rhythm.

Roots Manuva - Juggle Tings Proper (El-P Remix)

School tomorrow I couldn't be more thrilled

2006-09-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Ok Go went to the VMAS and basically tore the place down.

I'd post other performances, but really - why bother?

Unusual Gift

2006-08-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Good Conversation II

2006-08-29T09:52:00.001-07:00

I knew I should have been in IB

2006-08-28T16:13:00.000-07:00

My school didn't have IB, or geek heaven. We had AP. Which means no diploma. No fancy title. And no final dinner. If we had had one chances are I would not have done what these boys do - which is a pitch perfect rendition of OK Go's by now classic A Million Ways video. Brilliant

Great at night

2006-08-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

And do the guitar parts

2006-08-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

Click for full size.

It keeps me safe

2006-08-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

My first attempt at some sort of web comic. Largely inspired by Able and Baker and Patches, which means I basically steal their ideas. Click for full size.

Apparently without irony

2006-08-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

From a website on being an advocate (litigator) in Scotland:

"Intending advocates, known as devils, undertake advocacy skills training, commencing with a seven week foundation course. Devils then spend several months with a devil master, during which time they must undertake further advocacy skills courses culminating in the supplementary course."

Her high school crush is kicking your ass

2006-08-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

Guys - you know that high school crush of hers, the guy with the hair and shoes, who she never spoke to and maybe even never met? That guy is totally kicking your ass.

Why? Because she never spoke to him. Ever. So he never said anything stupid, or made a retarded joke, or told her she looked a little heavy in that dress. He never had the chance. This guy always said exactly the right thing because she put the words in his mouth. Hell, he might have looked at her once and that meant more to her than the last ten things you've said. Plus, you're a jerk.

He always smelled like laundry.

This guy is mopping the floor with you and he doesn't even know your name. He affected her in ways you can only dream about. Next time you do something idiotic--forget her birthday, get drunk and puke on the veranda, insult her best friend--guess who she'll be thinking about?

This guy owns you. And he might look like Christian Slater.

I'll save everyone the trouble

2006-08-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

I don't have an articling position.

Sing with Feist

2006-08-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

While the RIAA is busy trying to sue every 12 year old with a modem, and various record companies attempt to shut down free-advertising service YouTube, some artists still understand that maybe, just maybe, all these fans who spend money supporting you might deserve some love.

Feist understands this. And in a stroke of fundraising genius, she has offered a fan/winning bidder the opportunity to sing on stage with her, either a song the person has written or a cover song. And if this person is nice, he or she can invite a friend along.

Found via Brooklyn Vegan, who found it on Stereogum.

Ok Go - Here it Goes Again

2006-08-18T00:40:00.000-07:00

Speed. Skating. Moves.

Wayback Wednesday's Triumphant Return

2006-08-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

When I drove down to Mexico in 1992 there were two songs - Under the Bridge by the RHCP, and Tennessee by Arrested Development. We must have heard those songs a thousand times before we hit L.A. Naturally I was torn about liking either of them because I was a colossal nard. But that's another post.

Arrested Development went on to become nothing, the way Gnarls Barkley is pretty much headed. Which is too bad, because they had at least one great song and two other very good ones. Don't remember?

Arrested Development - Tennessee

Arrested Development - Everyday People

Arrested Development - Mr. Wendel

Soon Ray Lamontagne will gift us another album - until then, enjoy these unreleased cuts.

Ray Lamontagne - Write You a Letter

Ray Lamontagne - Carry Me

Pickup Lines I Intend to Use Someday

2006-08-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

"Hey...so...yeah."

"You remind me of that really beautiful actress...no, not that one. She's kind of dumb but smoking hot."

"You know, if you're not doing anything later...wait, are you a man?"

"You know, if you're not doing anything later...wait, you are a man, right?"

"I guess I'm just so good-looking...don't interrupt me...that I don't have to think that way."

"Do you want to go back to my place? And by my place I mean your place, and by go back I really mean watch me drink all your booze and pass out."

What a mouse thinks before it dies

2006-08-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

"Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese OW OWWWWWW OWWWWW OH MY GOD WHY SWEET JESUS THAT HURTS OOOWWWW BROKE MY MOTHER....BACK....SON OF A BITCH....WHY? WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT? WHO PUTS CHEESE IN A SPRINGLOADED METAL...JESUS THAT HURTS.....AW DAMN.

Katamari Damacy hai!

2006-08-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Any time I feel down

2006-07-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

I just read this.

"OK, America, you done fucked up again. Things got a little out of hand, and you went and blew up another country. Now you got everybody all mad at you, and you don't know what to do. Well, don't worry, America. Ike's been down this road before, and I know exactly how to handle it. You better listen to what I'm telling you, America. Ike knows what he's talking about, and Ike's willing to help you out as long as you do exactly what Ike says and stop being so stubborn. You dig?"

Ike Turner's Guide to Restoring America's Honor

Why pictures are worth a thousand words

2006-07-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

Mariah = World Peace

2006-07-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

One love y'all. One love.

Able and Baker rule

2006-07-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

able and baker 549,
originally uploaded by onegoodtum.

How I love this monkey. Click on the little image for the full sized comic. And read all the Able and Baker here.

And 1

2006-07-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

The Contours - Just a Little Misunderstanding

Wayback Wednesday - on a Friday

2006-07-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

Yo - here it be. The sounds to send you into the weekend.

After an impromptu breakfast with the J-Hova (man, I can't believe I've known him that long and never called him that), I was reminded of the greatness that was the Leaders of the New School.

What's Next - Leaders of the New School (Kano-1 Remix)

Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest feat. Leaders of the New School

He also reminded me that you really needed to go back 15 years to get to the heyday of hiphop - the Golden Age as it were. I decided to dip back even further, 18 years, to call up this seminal anthem.

Public Enemy - Don't Believe the Hype

But it's time to be true to who I was back then, and the kind of music I was actually listening to. Which can mean only one thing - men with guitars, long hair, and plaid.

Stone Temple Pilots - Plush (acoustic)

Stone Temple Pilots - Big Bang Baby

Tripping on a Hole in a Paper Heart

Alice in Chains - No Excuses

BONUS TRACK:

The Contours - Do You Love Me?

Enjoy your weekend. VOSKA DOURS!

Best New Music: Lily Allen - Aug 1.

2006-07-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

You are named Louis? But I am also named Louis!

2006-07-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen Home Movies I can't even begin to explain this to you.

from "Director's Cut"

Brendon: Are you Louie Braille?
Jason: Yes.
Brendon: Say ‘oui’!
Jason: Oh…oui!
Brendon: Mister Braille, how are you today?
Jason: Blind!
Brendon: Oh! It’s a cruel world…
Jason: I invented a new way for blind people to read!
Brendon: Magnifique! What do you call it?
Jason: Braille! Get it?
Brendon: Ouuuiiii!!!! I am calling my discovery Pasteurization! Get it?
Jason: No.
Brendon: My name, is Louis Pasteur-
Jason: Now I get it! We are great men.
Brendon: The world owes us a lot, but we ask for very little in return.
Jason: I asked only for a house on the Riviera with a view.
Brendon: A view??! But you are blind!
Jason: Well everyone in my family is not blind. What do you think, we are just a bunch of blind people?
Brendon: No. I’m sorry. I’ve been under a lot of stress Louie.
Jason: You mean lately…
Brendon: I thought your name was Louie.
Jason: You’re right, I’m sorry.
Brendon: We are two great men from France both named Louie!
Jason: It was great meeting you, Louie.
Brendon: And great meeting you, Louie. I must get back to my lab-
Jason: I don’t have a lab!
Brendon: You can use mine.
Jason: It’s a cruel world...you said I could use it?
Brendon: Yes.
Jason: It’s not such a cruel world after all!

Calculator watches - so pimp right now

2006-07-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Calculator watches - so pimp right now,
originally uploaded by onegoodtum.

Wayback Wednesday has been further delayed - it's looking like Wayback Friday at the earliest. Not having any internet at home is excruciating. There have been so many times over the last three days where I've had a small ridiculous question with NO WAY OF FINDING OUT THE ANSWER. Oh Wikipedia - why hast though forsaken me?

Wayback Wednesday - delayed

2006-07-19T12:29:00.000-07:00

Alas, the free internet party at my place ended some nights ago, so this week's Wayback Wednesday will be delayed probably until tomorrow. You'll just have to look elsewhere for your Stone Temple Pilots fix.

I totally stole this idea from McSweeney's:

Seven Habits of Highly Successful People

1. Cocaine
2. Orgies
3. Big Game Hunting
4. Real Estate
5. Giant Televisions
6. Gambling
7. Trophy Wives