Today I met the preacher and he was blind.

My previous blog effort, rather imaginatively titled onegoodtum, was, in my mind, an abject failure for two reasons. 1) I had next to nothing to write, and 2) because of a lack of content I started to feel horribly guilty, as though I owed my blog a duty of care and was letting it down. I think I heard it crying at night. The more the pressure to write grew the more I racked my brain for little creative reasons to put pen to paper, or finger to key. Why not try a little bit of fake news a la The Onion? Because those silly bastards are mad funny and I am not. Check the old blog for further proof. Occasionally I would write something I felt really good about, but that feeling would only last a few days until once again I realized I hadn't written anything. God damn these blogs are oppressive! Why the hell do people keep them?
Ironically I decided to stop writing when I entered law school, right around the time I actually had things to write about. The legal system is funny and sad and tragic and bizaree; it is ripe fodder for writing and going on at length about how stupid people are, which is obviously one of my favourite topics. Law school also makes me realize how stupid I am, not so much a favourite topic as an inevitability. Either way you slice it it's good for me – keeps the arrogance at an acceptable societal level.
Then just the other day on the bus, which is where I do most of my “inner-talk” thinking, I realized I had a lot I wanted to express, and wouldn't it be neat if I put them onto a blog somewhere with case citings? Okay, that last part isn't very cool. Actually, none of it is very cool but I have things to say dammit! And I'm going to say them! With an obscene amount of exclamation marks! See how the monkey dances! Dance monkey dance!

The law in Canada is a system based on a whole bunch of common sense—I'm talking common sense in bushels and farthings—and a whole lot of head up the assness. Let's pretend there's a law for that and apply it in this case! Hence it is called the Common Law, which stands for both common sense and common, as in you could pick it up off a gas station toilet seat. The Common Law is based on the English system of law which is in turn based on a druidical code of charting the passage of the moon. Imagine for example that someone punches you in the head for no reason, and in response you pick up a rock and smash him about the face. Guess who gets the moolah? That's common sense working. Just because that guy punched you in the face doesn't mean you get to hit him with a rock. That there is a lack of Equity. And Equity is important, if for no other reason than it gave Denning things to write about (LAWYER JOKE WARNING). Let's now imagine a woman addicted to pain killers who goes to a doctor in the hopes of procuring more. Let's imagine the doctor knows she is addicted and has been refused by other doctors. The doctor listens to her plight and, with a great amount of pity and empathy, motions his head upstairs in a come hither motion. The woman refuses, but unable to find a source for her addiction eventually gives in. Later, she takes the doctor to court with a charge of sexual assault. The trial judge, diligently applying the common sense of the Common Law, dismissed the case, as does the provincial Supreme Court and the Court of Appeal. Finally the Supreme Court of Canada finds for the plaintiff (that's lawyer talk for the pissed off party) and throws the proverbial book at the doctor, but not before bending the Common Law into more awkward positions than, to quote Triumph, a Great Dane trying to bang a chihuahua. At least justice prevailed.

The legal system we have working in Canada is definitely better than, say, one based on the ancient teachings of patriarchal howdies. But after only three months I realize that democracy only works with an informed electorate, and we are definitely not informed. After reading just a few pieces of legislation I am scratching my head and reaching for my gun, or the gun I would have if I lived in America. Time to storm the capital boys! Viva la revolucion!


At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


It's about time you got off your duff and made my brain happy. I guess the threat of finding another favourite society commentator worked. Alright Psych 101 ...kiddin'
But seriously, it's good to see you do something you do incredibly well and that you enjoy.

Cheers and welcome back,


At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey i'm down with the revolution, as long as I'm invited to the after party

At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay...more brain, heart and soul candy please...double yay...your brain processes are saweet. I bet you could write a paragraph on the above comment...I bet you could write a paragraph on "Anonymous" and it would rock. Yes this is a non judgemental observation so no pressure to produce Chinamam of Average Intellect..teeheehee...more please.


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