Asylum state of Quebec gets the biggest cheer?

I almost don't want to post about this, especially after the wittier half of Team Britannia got royally screwed over by the bizarre Guile Moot judging requirements. But after a second straight mention in his blog, I feel I should tell everyone that the British accents were his idea. Really, without them there was no substance to our routine.

My Guile Moot presentation:

Good afternoon. Today I stand before you as a proud member of the greatest nation on Earth. And as usual in our countries long and noble history together, once again it is you Canada who turns to us, the most British of Isles, to solve your most pressing legal issues.

But I am only one half of Team Britannia. My partner will attempt to tell you that Canada is unreasonable. No doubt he will do so, to use his quaint dialect, by indicating the size of his Niagara Falls. (Gesture at crotch)

We would have sent Denning but someone informs me his corpse has become unanimated again.

Reasonableness is definitely the norm in Canada since Canada follows Britain, and Britain is most certainly reasonable.

As for the reasonableness of Canada one has only to look at your money. (Pull out 20 dollar bill) There, smiling up at us, the paragon of reasonableness, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. Long may she reign - RULE BRITANNIA!

Or to the make-up of the country - you have eschewed the melting pot hodge podge of the Americans and placed all of your French speaking citizens in the asylum state known as Quebec. (Clap hands daintily) Bravo. Although I hear that the rebel nation to the south has recently drowned all its French speaking citizenry. You may have some catching up to do.

We created the BBC, you matched with the CBC - one letter off, but you cannot be perfect. And Rick Mercer - positively charming.

We chase foxes on horseback while wearing ill-fitting red coats, you play hockey. Again, the analogy is incomplete, but the same commitment to senseless violence is evident.

In short, for every thing British there is a slightly inferior Canadian version.

Canada has done well to copy our shining example.

In this regard we can only turn to Lord Denning, the Lordiest of Lords, the ultimate arbiter on all things reasonable. and some words from his judgments that I think particularly apt.

"The customer pays his money and gets a ticket. He cannot refuse it. He cannot get the money back. He may protest to the machine, even swear at it. But it will remain unmoved." Ladies and gentlemen - unmoved.

I believe that says it all.

posted by Thomas @ 12:53