Oh man, people are going to be pissed

James Camerson discovers the coffins of Jesus Christ and his family.

Every time I see a story like this, I always wonder - why does no one think that people before a certain time would play a practical joke? That is to say, why is it that things found hundreds of years ago are never thought to be the work of historical jackasses? "Hey, let's write famous people's names on this stuff and hundreds of years from now people will be TOTALLY fooled."

No? No. No?

King of the world indeed.


Chinese, Japanese, Korean...whatever

This, from Warren Ellis' morning update:

* Martin Scorcese got his "fuck me,
are you still here?" Oscar for
remaking a Korean crime flick. Since
he's had a hard-on for Oscar for
some thirty years, I suppose it's
nice for him. But it still seems a bit
sad to me.

To his credit, he wrote back a minute after my email to say he was thinking about another movie.


Live blogging the Oscars

5:00 - 6:58

Miss almost the entire show. Tune in intermittently to catch Will Smith's son being adorable, Jack Black, Will Ferrell and someone I forget being predictable, and Ellen Degeneres looking really tired. Decide to watch Iron Chef America instead.


The Departed wins for Best Adapted Screenplay, based on the JAPANESE film Infernal Affairs. Apparently, all us Asians really do look the same.


Tom Cruise arrives on stage - crowd holds its breath, waiting for him to go insane or for an alien to pop out of his chest.


Ken Watanabe is the coolest man ever, but he cannot speak English very well. He is also the go-to Japanese actor for the next decade at least.


Ellen Degeneres...is not funny.


Best Documentary goes to...An Inconvenient Truth. Biggest shock of the night. Is global warming a big deal right now?

Jesus Camp was robbed, but really - is a movie that reveals the insanity of the Evangelical movement going to win?

The self-righteousness of the Oscars and Hollywood is rivaled only by the self-righteousness of the Grammys. By what criteria, either subjective or objective, can it be said that the Dixie Chicks released the best album in America last year? And I guess all these people didn't arrive at the ceremony in stretch SUVs.


A high Kirsten Dunst and a homeless Tobey Maguire present Michael Arndt with the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.


Beyonce...stop. Falling. Over.


Alright, that's enough. Hollywood - you are not saving the planet. And giving Melissa Etheridge the Oscar for her song about recycling isn't going to meet Kyoto requirements.


They start some sort of film about...how great America is. Yay.


Kate Winslet. Sharon says, "Her dress is really nice."


A grandmother wins for editing The Departed. Anyone who watched Children of Men knows this is ridiculous.


I swear Jody Foster has an Adam's apple.


Bruno Kirby died? Genuinely upset about that.


Forest Whitaker wins for best actor. I have nothing to add - the dude is sweet.


Best Director goes to...Martin Scorcese, in this year's Let's Give Him The Oscar He Should Have Won For Those Better Movies award.

Even Martin knows he shouldn't have won for this.

Way to go, Oscars.

On the other hand, he does correct the earlier gaff over Infernal Affairs. And then calls Michael Lau, Michael LAW. Aiyah.


Diane Keaton is abandoned by Jack Nicholson and has to announce the films by herself. Why is she so...loud?

And the Best Picture is...The Departed, replacing An Inconvenient Truth as the least surprising win of the evening.

Way to go Oscars...twice.


French people are having more fun than us

Woohoo and all that jazz

If you listen to the radio you know that men get women diamonds for Valentine's Day, since diamonds are bright and hard and shiny and your love is bright and hard and shiny. So says Doug Spence. (Actually he yells it.) Doug is, of course, functionally retarded.

Men, if we're lucky, sometimes get alcohol or tickets to a game or something made out of metal. But if y
ou're really lucky you first get tickets to the best Scottish Band in the World not named after a dead Austrian archduke:

And then, if you're really, really lucky, I mean - if you're the luckiest man in the world, you'll get this:

Quincy of Able + Baker fame

But then you'd be me, which you're not. I'm sorry.

If you don't know who that little guy is, you need to read more Able + Baker.

Quincy, Sharon, and Moi


Here's to Christians making pagan festivals into commercial endeavours

From Indexed, a blog by Jessica Hagy.


When 2 become....1

Ah the spice girls. What better way to celebrate the marriage of my best friend Jaeho Yoo to Nadia Baker.


Some crazy flu wasn't going to stop me! Congratulations the two of you.




The rest of the images are here.