The Undead America

If you're a regular reader of BoingBoing (and if you're not you should be), then you've already seen the trailers where someone takes clips from The Shining...and makes it into a romantic comedy. If not, also catch the West Side Story zombie trailer. Apparently it was part of a contest held by this company.

West Side Story Zombie Trailer

Shining: A New Romantic Comedy


Everybody gets some

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It's Christmas in September

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Even better

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This is great

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Ah...the good old racist days.

The Manolo is awesome

The Manolo, a blogger who has turned his site into an actual salary, offers his opinion on what men will be wearing in the fall.

The Manolo on Barcelona fashion week

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The pastry on the head.


Random Poppin

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It seems Arrested Development is intent on getting itself cancelled. The last show was funny as hell, but so odd that it screamed "Let's make the strangest show on television."

Naturally this couldn't be a post about AD without a link to the entire episode. That's right MPAA - THE ENTIRE EPISODE FREE FOR DOWNLOAD. HELLO? DOES ANYONE WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE??? (Actually the surest sign that a show is doomed is that no one cares if people download it...)

Arrested Development - 302

And from the wonderful BoingBoing:

Create your own search engine

Arianna Huffington did.

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Finally, a thought on the Starbucks card provided by a tax prof at my school:

"Don't buy those stupid cards. It's providing Starbucks with an interest free loan."


I want

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Sally Finds a Stray


Crying Wolf

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Wolf Parade Costume

Two months ahead of RollingStone, and now a freakin' three months ahead of Pitchfork. (And don't give me any of that Pitchfork has to wait until the album gets released hornswoggle). I'm a god of the music universe. I also provide free, illegal downloads. Did you hear that RIAA? FREE ILLEGAL DOWNLOADS.

Where the fuck is my cease and desist letter?



And Ray Romano will never die

5. Mitch Hedberg (comedian, 1968–2005) The funniest comedian of the past 20 years, dead at age 37 (for no goddamn reason). And Jimmy Fallon will probably live to be 110.

The Ten Best Proper Nouns of the Spin Era That Are Not Albums (or EPs), as Selected by People Who Are Currently in My Office. by Chuck Klosterman


New Season of Arrested Development

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"I've made a huge tiny mistake."

Sure, Everybody Loves Raymond winning the Emmy for Best New Comedy over Arrested Development kind of sucks. But the Emmys are about as relevant as the American Music Awards these days (check out Mariah Carey leading the nominations.) Far more exciting is the return of Arrested Development in its new Monday time slot. In honour of their season premiere here's the episode available for download (take that MPAA!).

Arrested Development - Season 3 Premiere (megaupload)

Michael: Why'd you go off them this time?

Lucille: Well apparently mood altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on the Today Show.

Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor.

Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist.

Repent or get jiggy

Screenhead pointed me to an interesting video of a large dude in a small hat pop and locking. I followed that link to the main site and discovered that truly everything is available online.

PopandLock dot com - dance, comedy, religion, politics. The site owner, Rippin' Ritchie, asks what more we could ask for. Fly dance moves and homophobic fuckwittedness? Is there more?

"Ask a war protester what should be done in the middle east and the answer will be "more money." Yes, America needs to send more foreign aid over there. That's always the answer. More of our money.

Too bad "Allah" can't take care of his people. He needs help from a Christian nation."

Oh, did I mention he's a racist too?


David Bowie is not Ryan Adams

Apparently the link I gave for the Ryan Adams album was actually to a video of David Bowie performing with the Arcade Fire, a great download in its own right but not Jacksonville City Nights. That link is now fixed, but if you don't want to scroll down:

Ryan Adams new album that sounds like covers of better songs.

Nunchuks rule.

Even though I only own a Sega Mega System, I've always been fascinated by video game design particularly with regards to controllers. The big story in the gaming world right now is whether or not Nintendo is about to revolutionize the world of controllers...or fuck the pooch with its new design.

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I'm pretty uncoordinated and this looks like the end of my fairly non-existent Nintendo gaming career.

Sing Summer of '69 dude

If you head on over to Ryan's blog (and I'm sure you've done so already) you'll find a plug for his favourite tortured artist, Mr. Ryan Adams. But unlike other helpful blogs, you will not find any links to his music. Ryan does not want to incur the wrath of the RIAA. Luckily for you, I could give a rat's ass about the RIAA--or unluckily, depending on your taste in music--so I'm posting his entire new album all neatly zipped up.

Ryan Adams and the Cardinals - Jacksonville City Nights (megaupload)

Be forewarned (how is forewarned different than just warned?) - you'd better like slide guitar.


Daaaaa Pooolleeeeeeeez

If you're an indie band, how can you tell when you've really hit the big time?

When someone makes an animated gif for one of your songs.

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The Return of Open Letter.

Open letter to the crazy bitch who hit me with her car,

Now hold up. Just stop it right there. I know you’re mad, but dammit, I’m mad too! You hit me with a car! But I’m not one to hold grudges. I’m not one to let something like physical violence get in the way of all the good we have. And considering my femur’s displaced and my spleen impacted, I’d say that makes me the bigger person.

Did I sleep with her? That all depends on your definition of sleep…Hey, I’m just playing! Can’t a brother joke once in a while? Why you have to be so serious all the time? Maybe if you put down the tire iron we could have ourselves a conversation.

Alright, I did it. I broke the trust. But you didn’t see the way this chick was eyeing me up! And Dan was all, Are you an entomologist? Cause your eyes be buggin’. And I was like shut up and he was like hit that China boy and I was like fuck you motherfucker I kill you. Because that’s how much I was struggling on account of my eternal love for you.

But dammit, this chick was hot. If I didn’t tap the bitch the fag jokes would’ve never stopped. And do you have any idea how much pressure there is on an Asian male to prove his masculinity? Do you have any idea what kind of stigmas surround homosexuality in Chinese culture?

I didn’t think so.

So before you judge me and try and hit me with something larger than a Civic (like your faggot brother’s Hummer – see, I called him a faggot. See how bad that makes even you look?), maybe you should take a look at the prejudices and stereotypes that exist in your own heart. And stop breaking the windows on my ride.


The brother who loves you and is totally undeserving of this crazy bitch act.

Get them honey!

I don't know what's worse - that my wife is a better poker player than me, or that I don't care.

Take that, venerable music institution!

I'm not one to toot my own horn (Stop rolling your eyes! I said stop it!), but I would like to point out that I mentioned Victoria, BC's Wolf Parade a full two months before Rollingstone. I just wanted to mention that. That's all. (I said stop it.)

These tracks are iTune friendly.

Wolf Parade - We Built Another World

Wolf Parade - Fancy Claps

Oh, and they will be opening for a little band called Arcade Fire. Thanks to Ryan's nimble internet skills we have tickets (I don't know if he was nimble. He might merely have been dexterous. Also note that this mention of Ryan is to make up for the lack of posts about him from the H Bizzle. Oh, wherefor art thou Bazzalanator?)

Arcade Fire kinda crummy.

Nuh huh!

Debuut van het jaar!


Sir, are you aware that you're gross?

Paul Collins, editor of the Collins Library for McSweeney's, wonders where bassoons comes from.

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The moment we've all been waiting for - My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable has finally weighed in on Hurricane Katrina. Don't know MNFTIU? Get your war on.


Isn't this Since U've Been Gone?

The always excellent Said the Gramaphone has Arcade Fire covering the Yeah Yeah Yeah's Maps.

Arcade Fire - Maps

Listening to the new Ol' Dirty Bastard (love the posthumous hip hop trip), and there it is in the middle of the song: "Bitch better have my money." And suddenly I'm tired of that refrain. It's a great refrain, capturing one of the major dilemmas of the modern age. To paraphrase Chris Rock: see, the bitch has his money, and that is interfering with his economic viability in a racially hostile environment. Hence the term, Bitch better have my money. But to hear it in all of his songs makes Dirty sound paranoid, and ruins the chorus from his greatest work, Got Your Money. Easy Dirty - bitch has your money. Stop being so short cashed.

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Back in the Air (featuring Ghostface Killah)

Pocket midgets and nothing but Elton John.

"I've got leaky quads, and I call, after he bulldozes the pit with half his gold towers."

Poker Terminology I Feel I Could Get Away With Saying If I Ever Played a Tournament. BY ANDY SUTHERLAND (McSweeney's)


What can I say? The lady is a hustler.

Updated the poker blog and the stats page.

Please sir...hire me. Please.

As law students start sending out their glowing applications and then watch as their dreams of summer positions go up like so many FEMA pamphlets being burned to heat the homeless, I dream of alternative careers...like waste management.

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Jay Pinkerton, he of the reimagined children's books, has taken on the last books of the Old Testament and found unintended (or possibly intended?) hilarity.

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Not him.


Franz Ferdinand have a new album coming out on October 4th...which means it's out now, and yes it kicks dead Austro-Hungarian Archduke ASS.

First single Do You Want To is available pretty much everywhere, but I prefer this little ditty...although it might just be the awesome title.

Franz Ferdinand - Evil and a Heathen


Jesus is the Lord...of Rock!

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I'm not sure who Harman Leon is (I'm sure a little research would reveal the answer, but I'm simply too lazy), but I am certain that him pretending to be a Christian speed metal guitarist, and then faking his way onto the Christian show Miracles Today is laugh out loud funny.

If all metal had lyrics this good, I think I might have become a fan:

And the sin goblins come,

And I smite them down

With the magical saber of Christ.

And he delivers me to salvation,

As we ride together on the back of a beautiful winged horse

Named Malachi.



Give your soul to the master!

Smite the evildoers. Smite them. Smite them.

Crush the skull of Satan! Crush it! Crush it!

The host has a fixed smile on her face; she looks mildly confused. I clarify my presentation: "Now picture those lyrics backed by a grinding, headbanging, speed-metal guitar."

"Then, can you even hear the lyrics?" she asks.

I pause. In a perfect Spinal Tap moment of self-realization, I reply, "Um, well, not really. No."

Headbanging for Jesus!

see also: Metal for Jesus

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Of course, this naturally leads to...Faith + 1! (.wav files)

Don't ever leave me Jesus

Gold album

You know Jesus, I've been thinking a lot about you lately


DZK - I found Jesus.

I wanna get down on my knees, and please Jesus
yes, cuz my man... Jesus needs it
get your salvation, all over my face


Little Baby Jesus You Bastard

Listening to the Ol' Dirty Bastard live album, Free To Be Dirty: Live!, which is probably the greatest live album ever.

Why'd you have to get assassinated Dirty? Wait - I'm getting him mixed up with Tupac.

The Neptunes feature prominently in Dirt McGirt's oeuvre, and their masterpiece is the philosophical treatise on love, Got Your Money. The hand claps, the hook, the walking bass line - and the best opening lines since Romeo and Juliet:

You give me your number
I call you up
You act like your pussy's on interrupt
I don't have no problem with you fucking me
But I have a little problem with you not fucking me

Goddamn this song is soooo good. Turn them shits up! (What, you never heard of Fisticuffs?)

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Got Your Money (Live)


The new DCFC album hasn't found a place on my iPod yet, and I'm not sure it ever will. Even I have a tolerance metre for clever lyrics about heartache; it's just set much higher than the average music fan.

I was shocked, however, to discover that Ben Gibbard is actually a year younger than me. Sometimes he looks positively ancient.

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I did put their acoustic set on KEXP into the 'Pod; the songs have a Neil Young-meets-Phil Collins-at-a-bar-and-kills-him vibe when stripped of all that Chris Walla production.

(right click; save as)

Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body (Live on KEXP)

Death Cab for Cutie - Start Again (Live on KEXP)