So long you crazy diamond....

You know Mitch Hedberg? No? Well now it's too late. Mitch died of a heroin overdose, thus depriving the world of one of the greatest comedians ever. He was totally under the radar because his schtick wouldn't translate well into a sitcom (neither did Jeff Foxworthy's, but the problem with him was not being funny to begin with). Wikiquote has some great Mitch stuff, Here are some of my favourites.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah, reminds me of summer time, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

I saw a six pack of soda-pop for $1.20. That price fucks with your head, man. Because then I thought that I would start selling soda-pop. Suddenly I got things of pop with me. "What's going on, Mitch." "Not much, looking to buy some pop? Fifty cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half assed commitment."

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut...Some skeptical friend, "Don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here...oh wait it's back home in the file...under "D", for doughnut."

RIP Mitch

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

More Mitch quotes

What? A penguin? Give me the map!

Watch these guys play Super Mario with the world's biggest gamepad (it's huge!)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

A recent B.C. poll shows that a majority of this province's residents disagree with the Air India ruling. No shit. What makes this finding remarkable is the way the question was phrased:

As you may know, the B.C. Supreme Court ruled that there was insufficient evidence to convict the two defendants charged with the Air-India bombings of 1985. Over all, would you say you agree or disagree with the court's decision to find the defendants not guilty on all charges?

Victoria lawyer Michael Mulligan expressed concern over the poll, questioning how any right-thinking person could conclude, in an absence of evidence, that the accused were guilty. The key to that question is "right-thinking person." Clearly the majority, at least of those polled, do not consider evidence to be an essential part of criminal trials. As reality TV has indicated, people are more than willing to pass judgment on others based on a half-hour, heavily edited show. The careful reader might point out that there's very little correlation between a Supreme Court decision and, say, America's Top Model, to which I would respond: not in the eyes of some.

One only has to look at The Province's letter section for a sampling of the level of cognition some people in B.C. apply to thorny problems. Kids failing in school? Keep them there longer! Police tell us not to defend ourselves? Fuck them, we'll all learn kung fu! The guy was Chinese? Ban immigration! The guy was white? Ban immigration!

Fuck this province. I'm moving to Sweden.


Fashion from a Chinaman

New for Spring/Summer 2005.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com



Every so often you'll see something and it will cause you to do a double take. A "did I just see that?" Something that makes little green men from Mars a little more plausible. And then there's this:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Let's call him Ryan S. No wait, that's too obvious. R. Stipe.

And so it begins....

I was sitting on the bus, about to read A Walk in the Woods, still Bill Bryson's best book.

"The spirit of our Lord Jesus be with you. Begone demons, begone from this place in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

I looked up and sure enough a man was speaking these words onto the bus, almost as if he was conversing with the people opposite. I had noticed him before because he was sitting on one of the elevated seats, but his hand was on the back of the seat next to him. His eyes were closed while he spoke, and then he opened them and looked around, all while intoning the same basic phrase over and over.

I stared at him and this quieted him down for a time, but apparently the spirit of the Lord was too compelling for him to ignore. Two teenage girls sitting next to him looked both scared and confused.

This brought to mind a certain gentlemen who was at the Joel Plaskett/Peter Elkas concert last night (for a detailed description and photos taken by yours truly, check out Ryan's Blog. It's not there yet but it will be - right Ryan? EDIT: post is up.). I'm not sure this particular fizella even knew he was at a concert; for extended periods during the set he was engaged in loud conversations with different women, full of gesticulations and bug-eyed wonderment.

There's always one at every event, and yet somehow I never end up next to them. Because if I did I would tell him to shut up. I even leaned over, stared directly at him, and mouthed the words slowly. I don't understand why in those situations no one says anything. The people around him were clearly annoyed, but chose to stand there and fume. Bizarre.

Favourite part of the concert for me: Joel's Retirement song. "She asked me what my favourite colour is and I said red, white, and you."

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Hans Hoogerbrugge makes fantastic animated gifs that you activate by either clicking with your mouse or running the cursor over them. They are surreal and bizarre and hilarious.

And now he has taken his talents and created a wild story called "Hotel: An Interactive Tale."

The story revolves around the research of a Dr. Doglin, the founder of Preconstruction. He has volunteers participate in accidents and then monitors their progress.

There are six episodes to Hotel so far, and each one is separated into chapters which amount to scenes. In each scene you use your mouse to unlock the action. Sometimes this will involve clicking and sometimes passing the cursor over an item or person rapidly. Certain actions have to be done more than once. For example, in one scene the action is advanced by clicking the clock. Items and characters that can be activated are sometimes indicated by a speck revolving around their heads.

If you like David Lynch, post-modernism, and overall weirdness, then Hotel is for you.


Funny, he didn't look like a serial killer

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com